Monday, October 9, 2017

The perils of flickery

Today's featured question comes from Susan G.
"When at a formal dinner with a mermaid, is it polite to flick the water from your finger bowl at them?"

Dear Aquatic Querent. As you know, formal affairs are breeding grounds for ruffled fins and offense. Among younger mers (those only a few hundred years in age), water flicking is an innocent form of flirtation used in the first stages of courtship. As such, it is generally viewed as harmless and charming. For adults however, this practice is not without peril. If you notice a neighboring merdiner showing signs of dehydration, certainly a quick flick can restore them and garner their thanks. However, if your finger bowl contains a lemon (as opposed to flower) the citrus juice could very well land in the mer's eye -- not only stinging, but causing the mascara she claims she never wears to run down her coral-red cheeks. Certainly, flicking lessons can solve the whole problem for those with inconsistent aim. ~As always, your Manners Maven

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